OPINION & EDITORIAL
Drink specials get krunked
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by Badger Herald Editorial Board
Friday, September 13, 2002
The city’s regulatory kitchen was cooking up a storm, with Chancellor Wiley busy over the stove, pouring grain alcohol on the flames. Apparently, over all the din and smoke, downtown bar owners finally noticed the writing on the wall. The only way they saw to avoid the increasingly mean-spirited and ungrounded criticisms coming from the City Hall and Bascom Hill was to make a concession in the form of a “voluntary,” weekend-only drink-special ban for the State Street area.
Simply put, local bar owners were not holding very good cards. We don’t blame them for hedging their bets in the most profitable way possible, folding to Wiley’s stacked deck, and cutting their losses.
But will they come out ahead in the end? By all accounts, this is a smart business decision for the bar owners. At worst, they buy a little time before they have to deal with more hostile city ordinances. At best, they convince the ALRC, City Council, and university that their intentions are good. Heck, the bar owners might even be canonized for their “facilitation of enhanced student safety” and their enduring efforts to reduce the streaming pools of human effluent they pour onto State Street every Friday night.
There’s really no downside for the owners. Bars hit capacity on weekends regardless, and we all know those Friday/Saturday specials pale in moneymaking comparison to their “get kids krunked on Monday” deals.
The bar owners clearly hope their gesture for safety will soothe Chancellor Wiley and save him the trips to every ALRC meeting this year. Without his incessant defiling of cheap alcohol to the committee, their preemptive strategy might just save weeknight specials. They obviously have more faith in Wiley than we do. Who knows what bargaining went down in the smoke-filled cloakrooms of Bascom?
But rest assured the only message Wiley takes from this situation is that he carries some serious weight to throw around in city politics when he so chooses. Let’s just hope the owners have any of his promises in writing.
Now the charge for a complete drink-special ban is left to Susan Crowley and her fully funded PACE posse — but alas, the air is out of their sails. Who knows if she and the rest of Madison’s prohibitionist movement have enough hot air left to reach their ultimate goal — 18th Amendment part deux and a return of “The Untouchables”? After all, every great Kevin Costner film deserves a sequel. Wait ? how much have we had to drink?
Thank goodness bar owners were able to hold firm on Thursday specials. Thursday has always been the unofficial start of the UW weekend. What better way to show your support for drink specials than to fill the bars on the last day of the week you can still catch a deal? And while you’re at it, you might as well go out Monday through Wednesday as well. Anything to get the point across to bar owners that students appreciate a break, even if it is contingent on a successful coin flip.
So to the university, the ALRC, and the City Council, we say, “Poor form,” to your bullying. To the bar owners, we can’t say we would have done anything different in your shoes. But be wary, for you are dancing with the devil on thin ice — an especially dangerous feat in this town without a cabaret license. As for the ice, it would go really well with some rum, vodka, tequila, triple sec, and a splash of sour and coke. How about two for the price of one?
