OPINION & EDITORIAL
Life on the outside
Looking for a print version?
Simply choose ‘Print’ on your computer and a printer-friendly document will be generated.
Also by :
- Blair's approval rating up since war (April 16, 2003)
- Support our troops: protest (April 16, 2003)
- Anti-semitism by another name (April 24, 2003)
- Santorum deserves relief (April 29, 2003)
- All the fits that are news to print (June 3, 2003)
Related Stories:
- Diversity isn't just color (September 7, 2001)
- Minority coverage inaccurate (February 3, 2006)
- Cultivating leadership (May 9, 2007)
- Letters to the Editor (November 29, 2001)
- Corcoran editorial proves ill-advised (February 15, 2005)
Wednesday, November 14, 2001
To the student body of the University of Wisconsin and all others who may see this article, a warning: This will scare you. If you have a heart condition, please look elsewhere. My esteemed colleague, James P. Kent, writes today as well, and I have delegated the responsibility of producing a less terrifying column with “substance and clarity” to him.
It is unfortunate I must preface my debut column with the previous disclaimer, but necessary. If you are still reading, you will know why soon.
As we rapidly approach the Thanksgiving recess, two things come to the minds of most weary students. The first is a well deserved, although brief, vacation from the daily struggles and stresses of student life. The second notion, however, is more unsettling.
Thanksgiving signals the beginning of the end of the semester. Whether graduating in December or May, for seniors it is literally the beginning of the end.
Upon your return to campus, each student will face a plethora of material professors need to cover before final exams. You will then be granted one “study day” to prepare for exam week. I use the term “study day” loosely because, let’s face it, no classes on Friday is just an excuse for students to pray to the porcelain god on Thursday night. Those of you who have scheduled your classes like this for four years can vouch for that.
I remember these exam weeks very well. I endured them for four years and will relive them, although not nearly in the same capacity, when my roommates face their finals. As a graduate of the University of Wisconsin, I can sympathize. Yes, it is a stressful week. It is nothing, however, compared to life outside of this university.
Please allow me to explain. One year ago, as a student facing “the beginning of the end,” I contemplated my future. A Bachelor’s degree in my pocket was, in my estimation, the proverbial “golden ticket” that would springboard me into my life as an adult. The gleam on that ticket, however, has begun to fade, much as the grace period on my student loans.
As I returned from my Thanksgiving recess one year ago, I needed to come to a decision. On paper, the question which needed answering seemed pretty cut and dry. I would either enter the job market, or take a year off and “explore my options.” Let’s be honest — exploring one’s options translates into: “I have no idea what the hell I want to do; now pass me a beer and leave me alone.”
In retrospect, I have to admit I was awfully naive. I was several months into the Madison Police Department’s hiring process. I had just finished an internship with the department, so I felt the job was a lock. Due to this belief I went ahead and signed a lease for this year.
Unbeknownst to me, however, becoming a Madison cop is harder than trying to decipher the Charlie Monkey comic strip. Madison boasts the top pay statewide, and the city’s low unemployment rate and abundance of activities attracts approximately 1500 applicants annually. These applicants compete for 30 entry-level officer positions. In December I opened my rejection letter, which now hangs proudly in my room. Against my own wishes, I was forced to become a person “exploring my options.” I continue this proud tradition today. It is a one of sleeping in, watching TV and working 20 hours a week at part-time employment. It sounds nice, but believe me, it gets old fast.
I’m almost beginning to envy my roommates and their homework. At least they have something better to do than waiting to see what the mailman will bring me or anticipating the next “Set It and Forget It” infomercial.
If you, my loyal reader, have already landed a job, I congratulate you. Good job. You get a gold star. You can stop reading this column right now. For those of you who haven’t, here is some free advice. I beg you to listen. Apply everywhere. Think about grad school. Truly explore all of your options. If you fail to do these things, you face my unemployed reality. It’s a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live here.
Zach Fehrenbach is currently sitting on his couch and contemplating an easy way to get Cheetos dust off of his clothes. You can reach him at zmfehren@uwalumni.com. He’ll be checking his email at every commercial break.
