If you’ve been on Yik Yak in the past week, you’re aware that there’s been quite a bit of disdain for the participants of this week’s Humans Versus Zombies participants. To be fair, this judgment isn’t entirely unwarranted. Showing up sweaty to every class with a bulky Nerf blaster jammed in your pocket doesn’t impress anyone, and having to mimic Seal Team 6 whenever you’re outside can prove crippling to your social and academic life. When you’re hiding behind a bush during passing time and staring at passing college students, an orange headband is the only thing distinguishing a ‘zombie’ from someone who has probably eluded their parole officer. These are just a few of the many lessons I learned this week when I sacrificed life, limbs and brains for The Badger Herald by playing Humans Versus Zombies.
As an organization, Humans Versus Zombies (abbreviated as HvZ) is tremendously well-run both locally and nationally. The Madison game is simply one chapter of a nationwide association. It benefits from sharing a common set of rules and guidelines established by the game’s founders, who played the very first round at Goucher College in 2005. Our Madison round was preceded by an informatory meeting, in which a University of Wisconsin Police Department officer and representative from the Dean’s Office essentially told us to not be idiots. Personal safety and well-being was left up to the individual, but the moderators of the HvZ program did well in ensuring we’d stay out of legal trouble.
Monday morning. The sun breaking over Lake Mendota illuminated the golden leaves sheltering Lakeshore Path, painting an idyllic fall scene that almost made me forget that this morning signaled the rise of the living dead across campus. Undead populations rose from 10 to nearly 90 by the end of the day, confirming my suspicion that the kids who were interested in HvZ were rarely the same kids who were physically able of running away from a zombie for more than a block. The growing hordes proved a challenge that night, during which all HvZ players were assembled for a “mission.” Remember the games of Cops and Robbers you played on your block as a kid? Now imagine somebody injected that game with elephant steroids and gave it a gram of cocaine. After two hours of scrambling over Bascom Hill squeezing shots off at zombies and frantically searching for a cassette tape, I was convinced that any number of judgmental looks from basic kids in Vineyard Vines tees was a price gladly paid for the childish glee this game afforded me.
The game only expanded in membership as the week progressed, attracting even non-students: Madtown Hopper CEO and hair icon Amir Morning had joined the fight for survival by Wednesday, offering the services of the Hopper to remaining students. By Thursday, we had packed the Hopper full of Nerf-toting undergrads, resembling a less lethal version of the Somalian combat jeeps from “Black Hawk Down.” Cruising up Observatory Drive toward Bascom, Morning spots a lone zombie on her way back to class. “Hold up, lemme get this,” he says as he turns off the audio system that had been blasting “Booty Had Me Like.”
The soft hum of the Hopper’s electric motor stealthily brings us close to the target. In a single motion, Morning throws the cart into park and chambers a round in his Nerf blaster. Hunched over, he cuts across the street to lurk behind his target. His colossal brown afro bobs up and down with his soft steps, helping to camouflage him as a suspiciously mobile shrub.
Robin Hood on four wheels: one night aboard the Madtown Hopper
By the time the zombie is aware of his presence, she’s already received a Nerf dart to the head. These streets are no place for the unaware. It’s Nerf or nothing.
By the end of the week, the zombie hordes had overridden the humans, with a decisive zombie victory concluding the final mission. I had fought it out until the very end, becoming one of the hordes thanks to a jammed Nerf blaster. The setting sun illuminated the neon-orange Nerf darts as humans and zombies put aside their differences to collect the foamy loads we had strewn across Engineering Mall. A week of mockery from those who thought themselves above this game was well worth the fun I had while playing. Humans Versus Zombies proved to be a well-run, large-scale hybrid of some of our favorite childhood games. Sure, it’s probably a little immature. But it’s also a riot. If at some point this week you saw a sweaty, unkempt kid sprinting away from a pack of sweatier, unkemptier kids, you probably thought they looked like fools. Honestly, you were probably right. But you were dead wrong if you thought they weren’t having a hell of a time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtwL8suf8ww
