Happy Hump Day, everyone!
These days, there’s a lot of stigma around anal exploration. I’ve heard people say that anal sex is “dirty,” “weird” or just “not right.” The best quip about anal I’ve heard is, “Why would anyone want to have anal sex when there are perfectly good pussies out there?” Those people are missing out on an extremely enjoyable experience that many people take part in. Many people think that anal sex is only for gay males when, in fact, only about 50 percent of those who identify as gay males actually ever stick their penis up another guy’s bum. In comparison, approximately 40 percent of the heterosexual population try it out. Anal play is not just for same-sex partners, and it’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of.
The most important thing to remember with anal play is communication. Step one: ask for permission. Don’t try the whole “surprise them and hope they don’t notice that you’ve switched holes” plan. It won’t end well for either of you. Instead, tell your partner you’d like to switch things up and try anal play. Ask them how they feel about that and if it’s something they’d like to try. Never pressure someone into anal sex, however. The biggest contribution to enjoying anal sex is being comfortable and relaxed — something that isn’t possible when you’re pressured into it.
Step two: do research, together. Take a look at professional advice to figure out what you’ll need to prepare, to ensure safety and to get the most out of your experience. I advise not to up and decide to try anal sex while you’re in the middle of sexy time, unless you have everything you need and you’re both well-informed on the topic.
When you do your research, you’ll find that — no matter which stage of a relationship you’re in — you must use condoms. You can use insertive or receptive condoms. They help to protect your bum from any infections that could occur. Next, get condom-friendly lube —and lots of it. For anal penetration, I recommend a silicone-based lube, because it won’t dry out as fast as more common water-based lubrications. Whatever lubrication you decide to use, make sure you are constantly reapplying more, because dry skin on dry skin is not fun and could cause minor cuts on or in the anus.
You may also want to invest in some toys made for anal play. These include (but are not limited to) butt plugs, dildos and anal beads of various sizes. At most places, you can buy an anal play package of toys. These include items of multiple sizes, which help you progress to being able to insert a larger object, like a cock, into your anus. With any toy, make sure it’s clean, free of rough edges and covered with a condom, unless you’re using a receptive condom.
Now that you have all that you need, let’s give this a try. Remember to not only start slow but end slow. Anything going into or out of the anus needs to be done slowly to avoid any discomfort or injury. Once you’re both comfortable you can move at a faster pace, but always remove the object slowly. Before any object is even inserted though, begin with something you already have on hand — literally— your fingers. Put some lube on the anus and cover your finger with either a latex glove or condom, then slowly rub the anal entrance. When you and your partner are ready, you can begin to slowly penetrate using a finger. Don’t immediately start thrusting in and out, but move your finger in a clockwise-counterclockwise motion to try to soften the entrance. Once you’re both comfortable with this, you can move on to a bigger object. Repeat the same steps with a toy. Then move on to a penis.
Once you’re comfortable, whether it be with a toy or a cock, the real fun comes with trying out different positions. Like with vaginal penetration, there isn’t just one way to have sex. Every position provides a different level of comfort and pleasure. First, we have the famous doggy style position, in which the receptive partner is on all fours, though this position may cause a bit more discomfort for beginning anal enthusiasts. A second position is spooning with both partners on their sides. This position allows you to change the angle of your bum to a spot that’s most comfortable, and as a receptive partner you’re able to reach around and guide the level of penetration you desire. Another position involves being on your knees with the rest of your body leaning against something like a wall or the back of a couch. This allows the receptive partner to reach around and guide the desired level of penetration. It’s not quite as deep a penetration as traditional doggy style. The sky’s the limit when it comes to positions for anal penetration!
When you’re all finished up, remember to thoroughly clean any object used in the anus, and never use these objects in a vagina. You may experience some soreness — after all, the anus has muscles that just got a really good workout — though hopefully you experienced a lot of great pleasure as well.