Welcome to Hump Day, your mid-week indulgence of sex and relationship advice. Now, you would expect an opening sex column to cover a generic topic like sex myths of college life and introduce you to the year’s columnists. But we’re a little saucier than that. So we’re going to flip things on their head and get a little personal. This week, Hump Day asks its columnists, “What is a sex myth that has been debunked in your own life”?
We all hear that size matters, but the saying, “It’s not the size of boat that matters, it’s the motion of the ocean,” is really the more accurate of the two. Nothing against big dicks – they’re great – but even without one you and/or your partner can still make the other scream loud enough to make your neighbor pound on your walls. Did you know that the clitoris alone has around 8,000 nerve endings that cater specifically to sexual pleasure? Not to mention the entrance to the vag has more never endings than there are once you get any deeper. In other words, this explains why most of my best big Os, and probably yours, were from hand or oral stimulation. Never underestimate the work that a hand or mouth can do. This is not to say that the size of a penis doesn’t really matter, since it is one of the tools that helps to hit that wonderful thing called a G-Spot. However, if there’s anything significant about the size of the penis, it’s the girth, not the length. Think, the wider it is, the more chance it will help stimulate all those nerve endings at the vaginal opening.
Now, even if you’re someone who never comes into contact with the vagina, keep this in mind: The penis has more than 20,000 -yep 20,000 – nerve endings. Which means it doesn’t matter whether it’s a va-jay-jay, mouth, hand or even armpit; you have a pretty good chance of getting stimulated enough to reach your happy ending. So stop wondering if that hot person standing over by the bar is packing a third forearm in their pants and get to warming up each other’s mouth muscles.
As a blossoming adolescent all the way up to my late teen years, one of the most fundamental – and, as it turns out, most incorrect – things that I learned about sexuality was that sex begins with making out and ends when a penis ejaculates. I got to know the “baseball diamond” view of sex from many different places: my public school sex education talks, eavesdropped conversations between kids on the bus, my first porn-viewing experiences and my first sexual experiences with people with dicks. I remember thinking, “Wait, why is he stopping? What is that white stuff? Whoa! Ohhh. Aaaannnd we’re done, I guess.”
The script is all too familiar. You make out, you fondle some secondary sex traits, you reach down someone’s pants and diddle some goody bits. Next you get your head up in it, then you stick the dick in the twat and you pump it out for a few sessions until he cums. For some people, this works. For me, most of the time, and for many other people, it doesn’t. A lifetime of the same motions over and over again gets vanilla. It took me a while to unlearn these deeply-ingrained, socially-normative concepts of what sex is and how to have sex.
Nowadays, I think about sex as a playground instead of a baseball diamond. There are lots of different rides and slides available that you can go on together in any order. And it’s not a race. You can get fucked forever and then ask to cum later. You can make out for hours and rub one out on someone’s knee or against the curve of their ass crack. You can have amazing sex that involves zero to many penises. You can use toys to prolong and enhance the experience. With sex, the possibilities are endless.
Let’s talk about the intriguing world of sex toys. We all know about them and many of us have them well-hidden in our rooms. However, for years I bought into the myth that the use of toys during sex meant the sex wasn’t satisfying. Indeed, in many portrayals of sex, all things silicon are usually absent. I am here today to personally say that in my experience this myth is absolutely wrong and sex toys are generally amazing enhancements whether playing solo or with a partner.
Sure, you see the people in porn partying with a Hitachi Magic Wand and that looks hot as hell, but the thought of bringing such things into the bedroom seems too risqu?. Furthermore, how could you ask your partner to amp things up and provide a little extra stimulation without destroying their self-proclaimed status as a sex god? I say, let’s forget this idea that people never need a little something extra in their sex lives. I would argue that everyone should include some variety in their lives with toys, and that a desire to do so doesn’t undermine anyone’s sexual abilities. Additionally, shopping around with pleasure in mind really helps you discover what floats your boat. Who knows? You may really enjoy getting plowed while filled with a butt plug or find that you experience your best ejaculation after wearing a vibrating cock ring. If you’ve found yourself curious about a toy, I recommend you take the plunge, purchase that sucker and try it out.
So that is all, my Badgers, new and old alike. Come back here every Wednesday for spicy sex advice from us lovely ladies. Until next time, stay safe and stay sexy.