Hello, my fellow Badgers! I am happy you all found time to read this week’s Hump Day despite midterms being upon us once again. This week, I have responses to some of your pressing questions relating to the world of dating. Here we go:
I’ve recently become single and am having trouble navigating the world of dating after my previous long-term relationship. Any helpful hints for this newly-single man?
I agree the dating world is a daunting place, especially in college where there are so many venues where you could meet your significant other. We have bars, clubs, classes and so many other opportunities.
So my first bit of advice is to look for a date somewhere you actually enjoy. You want to be with someone you can share something with, right? If you’re an active person, try out a co-ed sports team or exercising at the Southeast Recreational Facility. Not really your thing? Go see a show at the Majestic Theatre to meet someone with similar music tastes. This way, you will have the bonus of doing something you enjoy and people around you will notice. And, this way, your shared interest helps smooth out first encounters. Or, if you already share a class with someone, try talking to them. If I read one more shout- out about “that pretty girl in my class who I never talked to,” I will go insane. Nut up or shut up is definitely the best option in these kinds of situations.
Secondly, avoid clich?s and being cheesy. Yes, we all love ridiculous pickup lines, but walking up and saying, “I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours”? may not be the best strategy. Instead, be honest. Walk up and tell the beauty you have your eyes on she is gorgeous, or, better yet, ask her to dance. It may seem old-fashioned, but at the end of the night, you will likely be remembered for the right reasons.
Thirdly, stay sober. A lot of people drink to loosen up in the hopes alcohol will take away some of the nerves of approaching that hottie across the room. However, a lot of people also make utter fools of themselves in the process. Do you want to be remembered as “that drunk guy that hit on me”? Probably not. Having the ability to think clearly will surely help you make a good first impression. So, sober up, and if talking to that girl still seems like a good idea, go for it.
Hello, Hump Day writers,
I recently had a guy approach me wanting to start a no-strings-attached friends with benefits situation between us, and I am down for it. But I want your advice for where to begin. Thoughts?
No-strings-attached relationships have both pros and cons. One reason they are so prevalent on college campuses is because many people wish to have a sexual relationship without needing to balance an emotional commitment with other factors such as homework and jobs. However there are some things you must consider before embarking on such an adventure.
First, and hopefully most obviously, is the risk of STIs and pregnancy, which is an issue that needs to be considered whether you are exclusive or fuck buddies, monogamous or not. STIs are wildly prevalent on college campuses and a very real danger. Every single student needs to make a conscious effort to get tested and to get their partner(s) tested. University Health Services can provide testing and treatment services for STIs, and it is free for students! Therefore, you have no excuse to not get in there and get tested. I cannot express enough the need to get tested and to get your partner(s) tested.
Many strains of gonorrhea are becoming drug-resistant, and the number of possible treatments is decreasing. You need to be safe and be persistent about getting tested, and that goes for those in exclusive relationships as well. After all that, make sure to use condoms. Many organizations on campus give them out by the handfuls for free, along with lube and other sex supplies, so use them. Don’t take an excuse about them not fitting or decreasing pleasure. Compromising your health is not worth it, so put your foot down and be safe.
Next, I would negotiate what exactly your relationship means. Hot stuff, right? However, this is a very important step to ensuring everyone benefits and no one gets hurt. Will you cuddle and watch movies, or will one of you booty call the other as needed? Does he have to wine and dine you? There are important questions to ask and, as silly as they may seem now, they will help to avoid misunderstandings later.
If you both work through the logistics like adults, then feel free to enjoy yourselves with no strings attached. If it is what you both want and feel is the best for your lives, then who is anyone to tell you otherwise?
That is all I have for now, Badgers. Keep on studying, stay safe and stay sexy until next time.
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