It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day and it’s a whole new sex life if you desire it deeply enough! January is all about New Year’s resolutions, so why not make sex a part of your own personal to-do list? Consider this: Do any of your vows include exercising more, losing a few pounds, reducing stress, or having more energy to live a happier year? Adding a sexy resolution can help you out with all of your wellness resolutions. Plus, I promise it will be much more fun than pounding away on the treadmill for hours or switching to a diet of carrot sticks and quinoa.
This is not about fucking with more people or even more frequently. You don’t have to learn 6,969 new positions, buy sex toys or join a BDSM dungeon. A sex resolution just involves reflection about what you really want to get out of sex and losing a bit of inhibition. But sharing can be scary. So, I’ll go first!
We already know we are supposed to eat healthy foods, move our bodies, act with kindness and not let the little things stress us out to take care of our minds, bodies and souls. The ultimate form of self-care is diddling ourselves. So, if you don’t do it often enough already, consider putting rubbing one up on the priority list next to brushing your teeth. Masturbation, when it leads to orgasm, can help us sleep, relax, boost our mood, learn about how we get off to show our partners later and even has a lot of physical health benefits. The health benefits of orgasming for people with prostates have long been documented, but even female-bodied people can get in on the fun. Some studies show women who orgasm frequently have reduced risk of yeast infections, urinary tract infections, severe menstrual cramps and chronic back pain. Best part: It’s free and does not require a partner to do it.
And ask more! If you have a sex partner, be it a fuck buddy, one-timer or long-time lover, you really don’t know what they are into until you ask. And often, even if you do ask, people need the space and time to be comfortable enough to come out and tell you the naughty, gritty things they fantasize about in their heads. You could be having a grand ol’ time giving great head and not even realize that pinching their nipples and humming the ABCs while you’re down there could make it even more awesome for them. I haven’t even told my partner everything that gets me off, but maybe if I did, they’d let me in on a little of their deepest, darkest desires. Just remember: Most lovers, if they are good ones, want more than anything to know what your hot buttons and fantasies are, so no need to be bashful.
Move outside of the bed
I’m not saying sex in bed is somehow boring or vanilla. One does not need to fornicate swinging from the chandeliers nightly in order to have great sex. If anything, fluffy pillows for propping, plump mattress to cushion limbs and soft sheets to graze skin makes for the best place on earth to grind around. But simply moving to the floor at the foot of the bed, the desk, the chair or pressed against the wall can incorporate all kinds of new textures and positions. Whether you’re sucking dick, eating pussy, jerking off, fingering or fisting, making out or full-on penetrating, try to start your lovin’ before you hit the sack.
Get off the pill
The birth control pill, that is. Let me be clear: The pill is amazing. It has revolutionized how generations of Americans have sex, and being able to screw my brains out without worrying about a baby sure helps me to focus on the task at hand. But the pill has become ubiquitous as the go-to form of birth control, as if there aren’t a dozen other options out there. And, quite honestly, I am horrible at remembering to take it on time. I have been on it for so long, I don’t even know what my body would feel like without the extra hormones. Are you curious too? Take five minutes and take the “My Method” quiz on Planned Parenthood’s website to guide you to the birth control method that is best suited for your lifestyle.
Face it – once we have run the bases a few too many times to count, hooking up can turn into a b-line for home plate. And while getting caught up in the craving for more can be hot, so can slowing everything down. Think back to how it felt to have hour-long make out sessions; the excitement of wanting more makes our blood pump with horniness. Every graze and touch under clothes turns into electric jolts until we’re basically fucking with our tongues to express what our genitals want. I want that kind of kissing back! So this year, I vow to take more time to just make love with mouths.
What about you? Thinking about adding a sexy resolution to your New Year’s goals? Chat us up about it at firstname.lastname@example.org.