Well it’s Hump Day again! Though the temperatures are getting colder there’s no reason your love life can’t heat up. Read on for answers to this week’s burning questions.
I love to kiss, but lately things have been… stagnant. I’m afraid my boo might want to move things along, but I need the time to “warm up”. How can we make our make-out sessions hotter and more intimate?
Goooood question! Too many times, we skip right over the sweet stuff to get to the ‘good’ stuff. What a missed opportunity!
First thing is to think about the timing and the activity leading up to kissing. Are make out sessions entered with an intention and time set aside? If so, you may want to consider letting this go. Allowing making out to just unfold as an untamed, physical expression of the intimacy, respect and appreciation we feel for our partners can allow it to come from a more genuine, raw place. And that’s intimate! Instead of planning purposefully for face time, perhaps start with a sensual body massage after a hard day or a deep, empathy-building conversation where you each get to debrief at the end of the day and listen attentively to the details of each other’s lives. Conceptualizing making out as an extension of emotional intimacy instead of something separate can facilitate the transfer of that social intimacy into your kissing!
When starting off a make out session, many kissers report that they enjoy starting off slow to build anticipation. Start with sweet pecks all over the face, neck, and chest. Try to avoid the lips at first, slipping up occasionally to get the corners. When the excitement is too great to continue, start with pecks and suckles of the lips. Without using tongue, practice some ‘lip hugging’ and allow your pouty pillows to interlock like puzzle pieces, pull back, and fold into a new equation. When tongue is finally introduced, start with small flicks and slightly grazing the tips of each other’s tongues.
From there, follow the rhythm of the kissing. Many people report that they enjoy occasional light sucking or nibbling of their bottom lip during kissing. Twisting the heads so that they are perpendicular instead of vertical allows for deeper kissing.
Also, just because french kissing involves tongue, it doesn’t mean your mouths need to be forever tongue-tied. Instead of imagining kissing as poking and prodding each other’s mouths and setting up camp, try to imagine your slippery tongues seeking and finding each other intermittently-in your mouth, in hers, in the in-between spaces-and embracing momentarily. Take pauses to separate faces and gaze at each other-to laugh, smile, brush cheeks, kiss noses, play with hair. All of those small acts will solidify a bond between people instead of just tongues.
Remember your most important tool -hands! Use them at the back of your partner’s head during deeper kisses, caress the sides of their body, place them securely at the small of their back, rub thighs, grab shoulders, etc. This will allow for more full-body participation.
You may also enjoy changing positions and environments once in a while. Making out in a chair, with one person straddling the other can create an entirely new experience than lying side to side. Kissing upside down feels very different on the lips and tongue than facing the same direction. Standing, pressed against a wall can feel very intense as well.
Lastly, if you do find yourselves lying down next to each other, try to get truly horizontal. Press the fronts of your body into one another, as if you’re trying to cozy up and share body heat, leaving no empty spaces in between. Being so up in each other’s business can be very intimate. You can even let your horniness get away from you at this point and incorporate some dry humping. Even through clothes, a vulva or clitoris can be grinded on a knee and a penis can be rubbed against the folds of thighs. See where things go from there!
How soon can you take a pregnancy test?
A pregnancy test can be taken as soon as a menstrual period has been missed. Some providers recommend waiting until a week after a missed period or doing a follow-up test at that point. Some pregnancy tests are even accurate up to a few days before a missed period. Determining the exact day of a missed period is trickier to determine for females who don’t have 28-day menstrual cycles. Try your best, based on your cycle and calendar, to estimate the day you think your period should start.
As long as you’re a student at UW, there is no need to spend money on expensive pregnancy tests at the drug store. University Health Services provides free pregnancy testing and there is no appointment necessary. UHS is located at 333 East Campus Mall, in the same building as Sex Out Loud. Just take the elevator up to the 6th floor of UHS and speak to the receptionist at the Women’s Health Clinic. An available staff member will administer a pregnancy test. Just make sure to come well hydrated and ready to pee in a cup! UHS also offers pregnancy counseling and referral.
Sam is a sex-obsessed senior who needs more of your questions to feed her desire. E-mail the lovely ladies of Hump Day at firstname.lastname@example.org