Hump Day’s newest sex guru gets down to business

Hello my sexy Badger brethren, this is Katherine, your newest Hump Day columnist! We’re now halfway through the week and I’m here with answers to your most pressing sex questions to help carry you through to the weekend. I’ve got a lot to say this week, so let’s jump right in with our first question.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for just about a year now, but I don’t think I’ve ever made her orgasm. Any advice on how to give her the big O for our anniversary?

I know many people who are in this same situation, so don’t feel like you’re necessarily doing anything wrong. According to a recent survey, about 75% of women never orgasm from intercourse alone, and as high as 15% of women never experience an orgasm under any circumstance. With this in mind, there are some tips you can try to help your girl reach her climax. 

First of all, relax. It’s incredibly hard for people to perform under pressure. Start things of with a massage or some heavy petting and see where things go from there. Secondly, don’t be afraid to utilize toys, videos, or anything to help get her off. Since the vagina doesn’t have too many actual nerve endings, many women need some extra stimulation and time to reach their big finale. The clitoris has more nerve endings than even a penis, so grab a vibrator and go to town! Finally, some women just cannot reach orgasm, and that could be the case. Just communicate with your girlfriend to make sure she still feels satisfied sexually. In the end, showing you care about her satisfaction can make the biggest difference.

I’m recently single after a long, serious relationship where we didn’t use condoms. I’m now used to “raw” sex but know I shouldn’t have it with a random hookup. How do I get that feeling without the risk?

Ah, the question of condoms vs. pleasure. Many have pondered this issue since the invention of male condoms. Luckily for all of us sex maniacs alive today, we can have both thanks to a variety of products available for purchase. Many condom companies have some version of a “thin” condom, which allows for more sensation during sex. These condoms are equally as protective as their thicker counterparts, and cost about the same, providing a quick and easy way to increase your pleasure while keeping you safe. 

You can even pair those condoms with one of the many varieties of lubes and gels marketed as “pleasure enhancers.” These come in a wide range, from tingling to warming to ones made just for males and others just for females. It may take some testing to find one that produces a sensation you enjoy, but I can think of worse ways to spend your time. 

Some condom brands are even pairing the thinner condoms and lube for you already, giving you quite the bang for your buck. Lastly, for the more adventurous people out there, a variety of toys made specifically for men can help to replace the pleasure wearing a condom may deplete. For instance, there are quite a few vibrating cock rings on the market right now, which are soft, stretchy rings worn around the base of the penis with a vibrating bullet attached. Just simply slip on, switch on, and get ready for some intense playtime.

My boyfriend recently became more aggressive in bed, to the point where he’s hurting me a little. How do I tell him to back off without hurting his pride?

In my opinion, the minute anything becomes too aggressive or painful, you should gently tell him it hurts and to slow down. There’s a good chance he doesn’t realize what he’s doing, and until you share your feelings he won’t know to take it easier. Additionally, telling him as it happens and giving him direction could reduce the chance of hurting his pride. If you wait until a day or more later, he could take your reaction as a critique of his performance in bed versus simply a recommendation for how to please you in the moment. 

If the problem persists after you originally talk with him, I would sit him down and have a nice chat about what you each enjoy during sex, and how to best combine your kinks to fit your relationship the best. It is much better to risk hurting his pride for a moment than to risk your health and safety. Best case scenario, he takes this in stride and you two get to enjoy a night of experimenting to find out what works. Worst case, he becomes upset at the news. If this does happen, you two may have to sit down and talk some things through, but it is definitely worth it to keep yourself happy and safe. Remember, safety and consent are the most important things when you’re engaging in any sexual activity.

Well everyone, that is it for this week. Until next time, stay safe and stay sexy!

Katherine Harrill is a Junior majoring in psychology. To have more of your burning sex questions answered, give her a shout at [email protected]