By now we’ve all drunkenly shown off our best attempts at the pony dance made famous by this South Korean’s “Gangnam Style” music video, and some of us may think we’re pretty damn good. Maybe even good enough to show off our moves in a tuxedo and shades on Halloween. We’re here to tell you not to, even if you own a tux, even if you have a spare horrifying “Asian” mask laying around, and even if you are in fact South Korean. Why? Because if you do, you’ll see yourself everywhere, just as the original Psy is seeing himself on talk shows, in bars and in parodies across the world. If a video has 200 million views, chances are you’re not the only one with the brilliant idea to imitate it for Halloween.
Kim and Kanye
This couple’s costume has all the elements of greatness – Boushie stunner shades, tons of bling, fancy shoes – bet you can’t tell which K we’re talking about! The temptation for girls to squeeze into bodycon dresses and convince their beaus to dress up as the rapper they secretly wish they were may (and will) prove too strong to resist, but unless you fully commit with fake butt implants and some facial hair you’ll wind up looking like what you are: a drunk couple playing dress up. As sad as it is to say, what makes Kim and Kanye so alluring is the fact they’re Kim and Kanye. Best stick to the old clich?d couples costumes people will be too busy opting for the new clich?d couples costumes to bother with.
Honey Boo Boo Child
We really don’t know what a successful Honey Boo Boo Child costume would look like on a non-6-year-old, but we have this terrifying feeling we’ll see a lot of failed attempts. The Mountain Dew-guzzling “star” of TLC’s “Toddlers in Tiaras” has sadly not gone away, but created her own spin-off show this year, meaning her sass will still be on people’s minds. This costume idea has permeated most of the “best costume” lists we’ve seen to date, and while everyone will get the reference, you’ll get to wear a tiara, and you’ll get to talk shit with a Southern drawl, you’ll be dressing up like a deranged, overweight toddler train wreck whose claim to fame is being horrifying. Please act accordingly.
There’s a Barbie doll, there are fan art sites a la “Twilight” and there will be a sequel. But these three reasons are not enough to have you braiding your hair and grabbing the closest bow and arrow in tribute to “The Hunger Games’” Katniss Everdeen. In fact, they are reasons not to, but we do give you credit for not wanting to give your body up to frostbite. We hate to be the ones to tell you, but “The Hunger Games” is not just a movie but a book series, not just a book series but a series for young adults (think 12-year-olds). While Halloween isn’t a holiday to act your age, it also isn’t a holiday to be twinsies with your little cousin either.
Naked Prince Harry
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Unless there’s someone at TMZ who will pay for naked photos from Vegas. As Americans are still obsessed with all things royal family, chances are you saw shots of a very bare Prince Harry either cupping his royal self or giving some unidentified lass a bear hug from behind. Ahem. You’d think few would be confident enough to mimic this monarch, but given the 20 or 30 Michael Phelpses we saw strutting about three years ago we think any excuse for a guy to get naked on Halloween is good enough for them. For our sake (and yours when you sober up), prove you’re a prince with more than your sword this Halloween.