As a Wisconsinite, I am obligated to talk about how unseasonably warm this March has been. Can you believe the trees are already budding? I remember being buried in snow at this time in years past! Is that a sunburn?! March Madness, indeed.
Like Michael Scott, I am not superstitious, but I am little ‘stitious that praising the good weather of the last few weeks will lead to its demise. However, I will proceed with caution and reflect on what warmer weather means for the inhabitants of this state.
For many, the emergence of spring weather means it’s time to debate how long it will last and what the unforeseen negative consequences may be. We cannot simply bask in the splendor of the sun without theorizing. One friend of mine is preparing for the apparent Mosquito Apocalypse of Summer 2012.
“You need to warn them. You have a column and an audience, and with that comes great responsibility,” he said. He speculates that the mild winter combined with an early spring will bring more mosquitoes than ever and that DEET is the only safeguard. Consider them warned, Andrew.
For others, higher temperatures means dining outdoors for picnics or potluck gatherings featuring bratwursts and foodstuffs consisting chiefly of mayonnaise. Nothing says family reunion in Wisconsin like cold noodles smothered in mayo with a couple peas thrown in here and there. Don’t forget to try Aunt Joan’s prized Jell-O concoction. (It’s healthy – there’s fruit in it!)
Additionally, warm weather is yet another excuse for Wisconsinites to drink excessively. Hey, there’s some sun – let’s drink! Brewers tailgates are the perfect venue for that, although I admit that I know almost nothing about baseball, nor do I really care about the outcome. I’m here for the snacks and the sausage races, folks.
In Madison, spring brings all the “musicians” onto State Street to sing their shitty renditions of John Mayer and Bob Dylan songs. I never thought being a shoeless hippie with a banjo could become clich?, but I swear I see three a day walking to and from my apartment.
For me, warm weather makes it increasingly harder to be a productive human being. Although I am admittedly a self-diagnosed hypochondriac, I am pretty sure I have a severe case of senioritis. Someone write me a prescription! These last two weeks I have battled an overwhelming desire to blow off responsibility and play tennis or chill on the Terrace instead of getting work done.
Whether the weather brings out the best or worst in Wisconsinites is hard to say. One thing is certain: Whenever there is unusual weather in Wisconsin, you can bet it will dominate conversation for weeks.
Holly Hartung ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism and communication arts. If ya have ideas for future Dairyland Down-low columns about Wiscaaansin culture, send ’em her way.
