Ann: It’s not personal. It’s business: No one is to blame for ‘Friday’ but Black herself
Oh Rebecca Black, how you have stolen the hearts of too many.
At first, “Friday” seemed like a hilariously foul attempt at music making in the same vein as “Crank Dat Gopher Boy.” It was good for a laugh or two, but its slow, painful descent to the bottom of the musical garbage heap has become too outrageous to ignore any longer. After a few weeks to digest the cacophony of “Friday,” Sarah and I found ourselves entangled in an ugly philosophical debate previously unseen in the Arts Corner, and we had to ask ourselves: Who’s to blame for Ms. Black’s success?
Despite the fact that Black is indeed just a 13-year-old tween at the mercy of her idiotic mother and Patrice Wilson – the dude who raps in “Friday” who also started Ark Music Factory, the company that gave Black the opportunity to “sing” – no one can be blamed but Rebecca herself.
As they say in “The Godfather,” “It’s not personal. It’s business.” Although it was admittedly cruel to allow Black to croon about the pure awesomeness of “Friday” and debate the merits of sitting in either the front seat or the back seat (mindboggling!), this was a business decision made by Black’s mother and cemented by Wilson’s superior songwriting skills.
Money was exchanged – $2,000 to be exact – and unfortunately that money not only bought Black some studio time, a bitchin’ music video and a hefty amount of viral infamy, it also bought her a whole lot of cyber bullying. You get what you paid for, I guess.
Black’s mother thrust her into the business and the spotlight, which regrettably exposed our ears to the unforgettable “talent” of Rebecca Black. Because she’s the one belting out “Friday,” not her mother nor Wilson, she is to blame. Or maybe we’re to blame for catapulting her to pseudo-success. After all, aren’t we all still humming the melody and racking up the views on her video?
Either way, I’d rather listen to Conan’s rendition of “Thursday” – preferably on Friday.
Sarah: Tween is innocent: Despite her questionable vocals, Black is a by product of the industry
Twitter feeds and Facebook statuses during spring break (especially on that “Friday”) were ablaze with the revulsion, disbelief and laughter at another’s expense that so often comes with online social media.
Justin Bieber took a hardly-deserved break from the spotlight, as every person on earth instantly became a music critic. Their sole purpose: Bring down Rebecca Black. Their motivation: A fear that unskillfully auto-tuned singing, lyrics written by a caveman on acid and Windows 98-esque music video production will one day become the pop culture norm.
Some may argue this has already happened (the melody of Beiber’s “Baby” parallels “Friday” with chilling proximity), but you need to be a relativist here; the distinction between your average pop song and the dawn of musical apocalypse is clearest when Black sings, “Which seat should I take”? Even Aaron Carter’s songwriter (who crafted gems like “Then walked in/ The girl I’m crushin’/ A kid spilled juice/ On my mom’s new cushion”) wouldn’t have dared that level of mundane simplicity.
But the final question is: Did Rebecca deserve the infamy? After reading a recent interview with the song’s writer Patrice Wilson – more commonly recognized as the creepily older rapper in Black’s video – I came to believe her mediocre talents are less to blame than the “store-bought fame” industry that birthed the whole phenomenon.
Wilson claims he’s never promised anyone fame – but with what other intent would he be running a “music factory?” The shoddy work exhibited in “Friday” would disarm even the most talented singer’s ambitions.
Clearly, there should be some legal construct protecting young people like Rebecca Black and parents that are willing to pay $2000 for a halfway-decipherable song from this whole skeezy business. Miley Cyrus has said of Black, “It should be harder to be an artist.” My pitiable comeback skills tempt me to say “Look who’s talking” to Miley, but there is a grain of truth there.
