The Badger Herald: ArtsEtc.: ‘Freaky’ new movie takes bite out of vampire craze

ArtsEtc.

‘Freaky’ new movie takes bite out of vampire craze

Adaptation of book series offers cheesy lines, sugary theme

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Also by Gabriella Bonamici:

'Freaky' new movie takes bite out of vampire craze (October 26, 2009)
Bringing 'party rock' to Madison (September 28, 2009)

By Gabriella Bonamici
Monday, October 26, 2009 10:48 p.m.

3 Vote 1 Vote

For vampire-crazed “Twilight” fans who are eagerly awaiting “New Moon,” there’s a new movie that’s trying to fill that stake-shaped hole in your heart: “Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant.”

Based on the first book in the Cirque du Freak series, “The Vampire’s Assistant” tells the story of best friends Darren (Chris Massoglia, “The Hole”) and Steve (Josh Hutcherson, “Journey to the Center of the Earth”) who stumble upon a freak show and encounter a myriad of strange and mysterious figures. As captivating as the performance is, however, the duo soon discovers entertaining their curiosities can have deadly (or, rather, undeadly) consequences. Eventually, Darren must give up his place among the living and become a vampire in order to save his friend’s life.

Unlike “Twlight,” however, “The Vampire’s Assistant” is geared toward a somewhat younger age group. But don’t worry, this movie doesn’t feature a stereotypically attractive male lead whose main role is to serve as tweenage eye candy, nor is it your average high-intensity action blood ‘n’ guts vamp thriller. Instead, this movie takes on a different angle from which to view the undead, one of more innocent and entertaining intentions.

If you are looking for a movie with good writing, interesting plot twists, and exceptional acting, then look elsewhere. Unless you’re overcome by nostalgic desires for simplistic grade school book reports, then you will most likely not get a whole lot out of sitting through this one -hour- 48-minute-long film.

The storyline, while solid enough and even reasonably thrilling, is still rather juvenile, involving every Disney Channel drama from best friend fights to predictable pretty girl love interests. This is pretty disappointing considering “The Vampire’s Assistant” lacks any detailed explanation of its fictitious boundaries — which one could argue is the most interesting element of the film — and relies heavily upon cliché.

While the writing is occasionally witty at times, it is otherwise a brand of cheesiness that straddles the border of ridiculousness while being overwhelmingly obvious about the morals of the film — especially the phrase “It’s not what you are, but who you are.” Given the blatancies in the characters’ momentous speeches, the morals of this story could not possibly be shoved any further down viewers’ throats.

Then again, such tends to be the case for this particular target demographic. The overacting and displaced awkward moments are almost excusable taking into account the saving presences of John C. Reilly (“9”) as ringleader Larten Crepsley, Salma Hayek (“Across the Universe”) and Michael Cerveris (“Fringe”) (Willem Dafoe unfortunately made himself scarce), and keeping in mind this is somewhat of a kids’ movie — even though the occasional curse word did make this a bit questionable.

Even taking all of this into account, “Cirque Du Freak” still manages to come off as an overall entertaining movie. Its carnival-esque theme allows for a creatively designed set and an amusing array of freakish figures, including a snake-faced struggling musician and a lady with the uncanny ability to regrow her own limbs only after purposely chopping them off. It serves its purpose as a lighthearted yet adventurous piece of entertainment, just as long as viewers remember to leave all analytical criticism at home.

Two and 1/2 stars out of five

3 Comments | Leave a comment

Anonymous | October 30, 2009 1:21 PM | Reply
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I totally agree with your review. Keep up the great writing.

Mike-E | October 30, 2009 6:08 PM | Reply
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Niice. Good review, counldnt be better said. Cant wait for New Moon tho

Anonymous | November 25, 2009 2:54 AM | Reply
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I personally think that you should go back and read the book, as a matter of fact, have you ever read the book? I believe that the movie was very true to the book, it was down to peg, from characters to settings. I dislike the fact that you have dared to compare Cirque Du Freak, a masterpiece, to Twilight, a stupid teen novel. Cirque Du Freak takes time to develop characters and relationships. The relationship between Darren and Rebecca was beautiful unlike the shallow-based-on-beauty-and-not-love-im-so-emo-and-sparkly-relationship between Bela and Mr. Cullen. I think you are shallow and pedantic, to quote my favorite TV show. I think someone should throw icey water at you as to wake you up from your obvious fairy tale life . How dare you desecrate the beautiful franchise that Darren Shan created with such passion and love and was brought to lively film very meticulously by Paul Weitz. Not only was the movie entertaining but also very poetic. In conclusion, your review to me was a shank through the heart. As for the wittiness, it had to be necessary. Crepsley was aware that throwing a boy to a world of darkness would be very frightning; his light-heartedness was a blessing to this situation. I believe more movies should make the morals better known, especially with this film, its dark and sometimes hard to decipher for those of simple minds. . This review shanked me through the heart. I hope you’re happy.