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Some words for gay people only
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Also by Hump Day columnists:
- 'Cutting' beliefs about 'cut' men (February 4, 2009)
- Some words for gay people only (March 3, 2009)
- Exploring and deconstructing the world of fetishism (March 31, 2009)
- Sex team assembles to reiterate column's purpose, goals (September 29, 2009)
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Guy 1: “Dude, I was studying for this exam all night.”
Guy 2: “Whoa, that’s so gay.”
Usage: Incorrect. Fail!
Guy 1: “Dude, I dreamt that Jake Gyllenhaal and I were fucking all night.”
Guy 2: “Whoa, that’s so gay.”
Usage: Correct. Big win!
The inappropriate use of the word “gay” feels so juvenile a topic that it hardly seems necessary to discuss it. And while I think the issue really shouldn’t need addressing, it sadly does. As illustrated in the above scenarios, the word “gay” is not a synonymous adjective for “stupid,” “lame” or a placeholder for “that sucks.” It in fact means just what you’d think — of or relating to homosexual persons (or happy, but that’s defunct). Studying is not homosexual in nature. Fucking a cute, albeit virtually washed-up actor all night is.
I, for one, don’t view this improper usage as homophobic or bigoted but instead as simply the reckless and ignorance word choice of silly people who have become so used to spewing it. Yet lots of people (gay and straight) will get in a hissy fit over the word “gay” being used this way, as it does technically substitute part of their identity with undesirable characteristics by directly equating the two.
Yet the derogatory slinging of “gay” persists, shocking even in the university setting where there is a presumed atmosphere of adulthood, or at least pending adulthood. Thus, using the word “gay” in such context is more than offensive — it simply makes you look like a puerile douche bag who probably also thinks farting is just hilarious. Hearing it used improperly was annoying in high school but acceptable under the premise that the brain of a high-schooler isn’t fully developed. Now it is simply impermissible — unless, of course, you’re complacent with being likened, intellectually at least, to a high-schooler.
Next comes a more technical nuance that similarly draws some heat. As of late, there has been a general trend away from using the word “homosexual” as a noun, as in the sentence, “Everyone knows Ted Haggard is a homosexual except him,” because it allegedly places too much emphasis on sexuality, undercutting the social and cultural values of being gay. Many people also avoid it all together, as a noun or adjective, opting instead for “gay” as the appropriate substitute. I can see the anti-noun argument, since it is semantically awkward — this is illustrated nicely when you conversely consider how no one would say “a heterosexual.” Aside from noun issues, it’s just hyper-political correctness and can be ignored. Come on — “gaily” just doesn’t have the same ring as “homosexually.”
On a less benign note, there are a range of other gay terms that do indeed warrant the outcry they often elicit. Certain words such as “homo,” “fag” and “faggot” are at the more offensive end of the spectrum and almost always carry an undeniably homophobic connotation. Although, when you think about the words there’s nothing inherently offensive about them (or any word for that matter) — they just carry a very loaded, symbolic meaning with historical weight. Once this is realized, they become pretty neutralized. Call me a fag and I’d respond, “Yeah, and?” because no one is really telling me anything I don’t already know. Or maybe a game of identification is being played and I ought to shout back “breeder!” Bottom line, though, is unless you yourself are a fag, you should not use any of these words because they do not belong to you. Words referring to groups of people often evolve and end up being actively owned by that group to further neutralize them. Non-gay people can have and own words like missionary, pregnancy and marriage.
Similarly the word “dyke” is no-no unless, of course, you yourself are one. Furthermore, reckless use of “dyke” is probably more likely to result in injuries beyond just your fashion sense being insulted, which is the furthest retaliation most gays would take.
This process of owning words is not new to gays, or any discriminated community really. Many black people — rappers in particular it seems — have begun to own the “n-word.” Or take for example “queer.” Originally meaning weird or abnormal, it was used in the early 20th century as a slur for gays, but it has recently been used deliberately by them to strip it of its negative power. In fact, a “Q” is often added to the standard LGBT initialism to stand for “queer,” an umbrella term referring to sexuality outside the heternormative.
There is, however, a slightly comical problem born from the expansion of the name “LGBT.” While everyone can get behind an ideal concept of total inclusion, can’t we all also agree that acronyms ought to be brief to remain functional? With any sexually unique group freely adding on a letter (or two), the once concise and efficient name has become LGBT-QUTI2SAAPO, which at this point should just be rearranged as “TAP 2 QUILT BAGS” for mnemonic and comedic value. The “Q” is reasonable since it would effectively cover all the rest, but then there would be hell to pay with the two-spirits and transvestites, because it does seem a bit unjust to haphazardly lump everyone together under one label.
Unfortunately for most of you readers, your vocabulary has just shrunk considerably, assuming you give a shit about my semantic advice. To recap: Slurs such as “fag” are only to be used by the gays themselves. “Homosexual” just sounds awkward used as a noun. And “gay” should not be used as a synonym for “stupid,” unless you’re still under the impression that letter jackets are cool. Just call us gay and stupid things stupid. And if we’re being stupid, call us stupid gays. Simple enough, right?
Think I’m a stupid fag? Or would rather elicit my advice about the sex problems you’re probably having? Either way, I can be reached at humpday@badgerherald.com.
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Hey, don’t knock farting. Farts are hilarious (except when a girl farts because that’s always pretty weird). Sorry if that’s a double standard — but hey so are discriminated communities owning words.
IP hash: eaac68d8
Dude this article went from alright, to absurd in a second (I would have used retarded there but I’m not a “mentally handicapped” person so the word doesn’t belong to me) What kind of a standard is this for people to live there lives on? If you are not part of a group that arbitrarily identifies with a word you can’t use it. IF IT MATTERS TO YOU GAY MEANS HAPPY. and therefore I will use that word in any way I damn well please. Talk about a free speech gang-bang dude, this article is garbage.
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“…it hardly seems necessary to discuss it.” Agreed. This has been discussed to death. We all just need to develop a sense of humor about ourselves and others. If we quit being offended at every little thing and just laugh it off, the words lose their power. The incorrect usage of “gay” is laughable, not offensive.
IP hash: 6b5333ab
I protest. Jake is definitely not “virtually washed up.” He’s got at least 3 movies coming out in the next 18 months, with more in planning.
Unfortunately, I don’t think your article is going to have any impact on those ignorant enough to be using the word “gay” as an insult or negative descriptor, because they are precisely the type of people who absorb the most prevalent social behaviors with absolutely no examination of their origin, meaning, or effect. But good luck anyway.
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“Gay” is not a synonym for “lame.”
Didn’t really think that one through, huh?
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I don’t think you’re a stupid fag. I think you’re an arrogant jerk with his nosed turned up towards the rest of the student body. Why don’t you come down from your high horse and let shit go? We’re all homosapiens here.
IP hash: 17a28939
Since moving to Wisconsin in the fall I have not read one decent piece of writing in any of the local rags (water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink). Thank you, Alex Garens, for making me believe that there is more than one competent writer in this state. Even though your topic is well-worn, you’ve stated your case clearly, concisely, and hilariously. Now, could you just teach the rest of the staff the difference between a noun and a verb?
IP hash: d3fcfc1a
Words change meanings over time, for better or worse. The shift of “gay” to mean “lame”/”stupid” is what would be called pejoration. Appropriating words is a very effective way to counteract pejoration, but it’s silly to say the second usage is incorrect because the word has already developed that connotation. It is a politically incorrect and unfortunate usage, but it still communicates the negative meaning.
IP hash: e8e7280b
Why did hump day become a soap box column? Can we go back to anal sex, hot carls, and the true intention of what I look forward to every Wednesday in this paper? I want to have a good laugh or recieve good advice on a crazy college sex life, not be chastized by a homosexual.
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pneumonic Have your editors still not caught this? You mean mnemonic, someone with pneumonia.
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You don’t see happy people complain that homosexuals took their adjective. When’s there’s no harm, there’s no foul. This isn’t to say that gay can be used pejoratively- it certainly is used as such far too often- but language evolves and so too as the word gay taken on another meaning.
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I’m a homosexual and get sick of hearing ‘gay’ remarks….anyone have any good comebacks? The best one I’ve come up with (and I admit it’s kind of lame) is “yeah, that was really homosexual.”
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Cheers.
IP hash: 977dadbe
sometimes I wonder if we’re all just a little bit gay….