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ARTSETC.

‘2nd Date’ proves desperation

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by Johanna Lurvey
Wednesday, November 14, 2007

"Everything to Say and Do on the 1st Date to Guarantee The Automatic 2nd Date" by Victorya Michaels Rogers, author of "Finding a Man Worth Keeping," is a supposed textbook of dating, one where the advice ranges from insulting to disgusting to obvious and back again. Rogers attempts to guide women who are mystified by the opposite sex to convince men to ask them out on dates and, you guessed it, second dates.

At times, "2nd Date" reads like a coach's pep talk. Unfortunately, this is one lecture that fails to inspire.

"You're not a dreamer," Rogers writes. "You're a doer! Kudos to you!"

Needless to say, self-esteem boosters like these are far from stimulating. In fact, the result of reading this book is far from a night of pleasant dreams, but instead an acute feeling of nausea.

Later in her book, Rogers suggests that a woman be confident in herself around men and that she be mindful of her values and self-worth.

"When you feel good about who you are," Rogers writes, "you will be turned off and lose interest in anyone who treats you less than you deserve to be treated."

While this is worthy advice, the majority of the dating textbook is unhelpful and distasteful. Though the book was published Oct. 17, the principles expressed throughout are extremely traditional. Rogers maintains the view that the man should do all pursuing, date-making and paying.

"You always want to feel slightly indebted to your man," Rogers writes. "It takes a confident woman to allow a man to be her leader and provider, but I know you have it in you."

Rogers also claims there are two types of women in the world: women who will execute this advice without being told to, and women who will be offended at even the thought of doing so, but very few in between.

Of course, it's difficult to imagine anyone taking Rogers' advice seriously.

"If you want a certain type of profession, perhaps you can get a job in that field so you can meet men in your line of work!" Rogers writes.

So, listen up, girls: Base your career and, let's just say it, the rest of your life around the men you hope to meet! Sure, that sounds like a really brilliant idea, Rogers.

Rogers also treats men like beings that women cannot relate to. Instead, she makes the "pursuit of a male" more like an episode of Animal Planet with advice like, "pull out your calendar and block out no less than one hour a week for exclusive male watching."

Are men some newly discovered species that we have to study them? Sitting alone in a restaurant and taking notes on other people's behavior sounds like stalking. For anyone confused on the concept, this is not healthy behavior.

Furthermore, much of Rogers' advice is insultingly obvious. She writes, "A daily splash of water and dab of deodorant can do wonders to reveal your hidden beauty and improve your appeal to men."

Evidently Rogers isn't already aware that boys are not appreciative of smelly armpits. The author also spends an entire contrived chapter suggesting that a woman glance in the mirror before leaving home and wear clothes that are tasteful and appealing.

Then again, it seems Rogers has a considerable amount of experience with the male species; she has previously worked as a Hollywood agent and has dated many men in the entertainment world. She calls her ways with men a science, and her experiences have undeniably been valuable to her success in the dating world. However, Rogers' endless mentions of the celebrities she went out with become tedious.

"I was pursued by a rock star, a movie star, a gospel singer, a navy pilot, a doctor … a preacher and an athlete," Rogers writes in just one bragging instance.

As for the novel's structure, "2nd Date" seems to have taken notes from the academic world. Chapter summaries and creative writing topics conclude each of the ten chapters, making the book feel like a high school reading assignment. Additionally, phrases like, "No way, José" and "Don't chase men; no, no, no" are reminiscent of an eighth grader's writing nuances. The lack of editing, combined with the useless advice, makes this advice book a chore to read.

Completely absent from "2nd Date," however, was the notion of surviving life without a man. Rogers fails to mention that dateless weeks do not mean the world stops turning. In the Addendum — the chapter following the Epilogue (Does the book ever end?) — Rogers writes about another kind of relationship, one with God. The chapter does not mention men or dating at all, which is a refreshing twist. Her abrupt shift to God is heartfelt but, unfortunately, it stands in such contrast to the ideals of the rest of the novel that it is difficult to absorb. It's not easy to read about the love of God from the same person who wrote several chapters earlier, "Clothing defines us."

The back cover of "2nd Date" displays a promise, "Your Dating Life Is About to Change Forever … Guaranteed!" There are not enough redeeming qualities in this book to call it anything but disappointing. I want my money back.

1/2 out of 5 stars


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