Ever since drinking alcohol became a recreational activity, people have been griping about hangovers and, in turn, looking for ways to either prevent or cure them. Methods range from home remedies (drinking gallons of water, eating absorbent foods like crackers and bread, drinking Gatorade) to the more clinical, such as Chaser, a supplement that promises “no headaches, no nausea, no regrets.”

You’ve probably seen Chaser commercials on cable TV, generally late at night. They’re quite humorous, actually — a man sits at a kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, head in his hand as if he has a pounding headache. His female partner practically waltzes into the room, and he promptly asks why she’s in such a good mood — she drank more than he did the night before! The secret, obviously, is Chaser, which she took and he didn’t.

I, for one, thought that sounded pretty good. Free samples are offered through the Chaser website, www.doublechaser.com, so I figured I might as well see for myself whether this “miracle cure” really had anything to offer.

I readily admit that I had my doubts — after all, if such a supplement really did exist, why aren’t all college students spending their entire financial aid checks at Walgreen’s? Besides, almost all hangover symptoms are really just indicative of dehydration, and there’s no pill that can prevent or rectify that. Nonetheless, it was free, so I decided to try it.

To help in my endeavor, I enlisted the services of a good friend, also female. We agreed to drink approximately the same amount and type of alcohol over the same period of time and report back to each other the next morning (or afternoon, as the case may be). Operation Chaser was in full effect.

We started by splitting a bottle of cheap wine (Lambrusco, to be exact). The instructions with the pills said to take two caplets (more like horse pills, if you ask me) with the first drink and take two more if you exceed six drinks or drink for more than three hours. We said bottoms up, took our first two pills and began our evening.

An hour later, we were out on the town and feeling quite normal for two girls who had just consumed a bottle of wine. We were both drinking Spotted Cow at this point, and I believe we had about three glasses each.

Three hours later, we were still going at the same pace, feeling as drunk as could be expected, and not noticing anything abnormal. Of course, Chaser’s site emphasizes that users should still “drink in moderation” and not expect to escape intoxication as a result of the pills.

As the night ended, my cohort and I wandered to our respective homes to await the next morning, which, hopefully, would be hangover-free.

When my alarm went off the next morning at 9 a.m., I rolled over and actually half expected to jump out of bed, feeling fine if not a bit tired from a lack of sleep. Not so, my friends. Instead, I was greeted with nothing less than a HORRIBLE hangover. Headache? Check. Nausea? Check and a half.

My partner fared no better. While I had to be out of bed at a fairly early hour, she was able to stay in bed until mid-afternoon and still felt horrible when she finally dragged herself up.

After this experience, reading the Chaser site is even more annoying than it was before the experiment. There, the company claims its product “prevent[s] hangover by attracting and absorbing cogeners using activated calcium carbonate and charcoal. You can completely counteract the negative effects of alcohol abuse.” That’s quite a claim, and one the company definitely does not follow through with — and probably couldn’t, even if it tried.

The bottom line is that if you’re looking for something interesting to try, pick up a free sample of Chaser (available through its website). But please, don’t pay for it! And if you happen to try it and it works for you, shoot me an e-mail and let me know.

We may have to someday face the fact that the only way to not wake up hungover is to not drink heavily the night before. Until the world accepts that fact, products like Chaser will continue to provide false hope for hangover-free weekends.

As for me, I’ll be sticking to the Gatorade.

Questions, comments or opinions? Talk to me at [email protected].