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Conan O’Brien set to host ‘Tonight Show’ in 2009
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Also by David Steinhaus:
- Revealing secret sex lives of celebrities (February 1, 2005)
- Vanishing Point finds lyrical balance (January 19, 2005)
- Linkin Park, Jay-Z perfect collaborative records (December 3, 2004)
- Jimmy Eat World returns strong on Futures (November 4, 2004)
- Affleck's new seasonal flop (October 28, 2004)
Related Stories:
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- Conan takes Late Night show on the road (February 12, 2004)
- Late-night comedy brings entertaining shows (February 22, 2005)
- TV stations approve Caroline Rhea as Rosie replacement (January 25, 2002)
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by David Steinhaus
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Could the end of the Masturbating Bear be upon us? Will announcer Joel Goddard still be exploited mercilessly for his affinity for young Asian boyfriends? Will Max Weinberg have to cut down on wearing short shorts? Good god … will Carson be allowed out of his 1 a.m. quarantine?
These are just a few of the questions that ran through my head upon hearing Jay Leno announce that he will be turning over hosting duties of the Tonight Show to Conan O’Brien in 2009.
NBC released a statement Monday announcing that Jay’s days are numbered. Leno, who took over the legendary Tonight Show from Johnny Carson May 22, 1992, has been contracted for another five years with the show, but ONLY five more years. Jay will step down Sept. 27, 2009, and Conan will string-dance his way into prime time. The network’s decision came about due to the fact that Conan’s current contract is running out and other networks have been attempting to acquire the pompadoured comedian. NBC’s desire to keep O’Brien around called for drastic measures. In his key bargaining position, Conan-The-Hilarian probably could have asked NBC for the rights to Katie Couric and gotten her.
So Monday night Jay Leno did his usual monologue and then told the audience he was going to “talk about something you may have read in the papers.” Upon return from commercial, Leno sat at his desk and did his best to explain the situation. His version insinuated that he was not given a choice about leaving in 2009, but he still felt that the network made the right decision. He spoke magnanimously, but viewers could still sense a bitter undertone. Leno revered Conan’s talents, but the best justification he could come up with for leaving early was, “I’ll be 59 then, and I really think that Johnny should be the only one to host this show into his 60s.” He also made reference to going out on top like his friend Jerry Seinfeld. True statement, but do we totally buy it? Jay has led late night ratings since his induction.
Then Tuesday night, O’Brien had his turn to speak. He waited until after his monologue as well and then sat down for his explanation. Conan seemed truly appreciative of his new opportunity and referred to Leno as a “class act.” His excitement appeared to be overridden by a twinge of guilt, though. The redheaded host kept it short and fumbled for words as he thanked NBC, the audience and Leno. In true omen form, Conan then proceeded to bomb the majority of jokes in his ‘Actual Items’ segment, a variation of Leno’s ‘Headlines.’
Now my preferences leave me happy with this decision, but I still have a few worries. Conan joked about lowering his hair wave when he moves to Burbank. This leads to a serious query. After his transition, will the ‘Cone Zone’ still be the same? Will Conan have to tame down his rebellious routine? Many of Late Night’s current jokes are definitely based more at the humor levels of a younger, college-age audience. When Conan introduces a clip from a supposed station called ‘Foaming Celebrities’ in which pictures of famous people discharge shaving cream, will Jay and Johnny’s old audience laugh? Will those bits even make it past 10:30 p.m. censors? Some of Conan’s best pieces are the ones where no one can really explain why they’re funny — the ones that are so odd they make you want to apply ointment, any ointment. For instance, the lever that Conan had placed next to his desk that plays a five second Walker: Texas Ranger clip whenever it is pulled. It is those hilariously zany antics that have made Conan the gangly powerhouse that he is, and without them who will he be? Jay?
We just have to hope that his new audience doesn’t stifle quips like, “According to an MTV poll, 41 percent of MTV viewers think America did the right thing by going to Iraq. And the other 59 percent think Beyoncé’s booty is off the hook.” And, “Southwest Airlines is being sued because they made a morbidly obese man buy two seats. Yeah, the airline is being sued by the two seats.”
With this announcement, one thing is for sure: Andy Richter, who now stars in a totally original sitcom about a man with too many kids, wishes he’d stuck around to be the next Ed McMahon.
Anonymous (September 30, 2004 @ 12:25pm):
This is the most brilliant piece of writing I have ever had the honor of laying my pupils upon. Kudos to Mr. Steinhaus and his wonderful ability to weave words. Kudos. I think I'm going to find him, and sign over my eldest daughter and Corvette to him immediately. That is the least I can offer in payment for what his article has given me.
-Trojan Stinkhorse
Anonymous (October 1, 2004 @ 6:03pm):
Why is this writter writing for this small time newspaper? With talent like this he could be doing anything. I mean look at the diction, the tone, the raw energy that explodes out of this piece. When I read this article I thought about stopping my law school applications and becoming a pupil under Steinhaus "the master author".
